Life

It wasn’t going to be the timing we wanted (not that ultimately we are in control of these things), and it wasn’t really our plan anyway.

She came to visit a little bit early, as I often pray she will when I get my hopes up at all.  I spent 2 years that way, so I am used to having my hopes turn to disappointment month after month. God was gracious and his timing is perfect.

“The heart of a man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” Proverbs 16:9

We choose to be open to life, not because of any mandate, and not because of any particular Bible verse, but because our study of the God’s word and prayer has led us to not decide how many children we will have or exactly when.  Not being under any particular church’s teaching regarding family planning, however, we also choose to artificially delay for my health for a reasonable amount of time and then open up the possibility.  (Although you could argue that Natural Family Planning isn’t really natural either . . . ) If lactational amennorhea worked for me, we wouldn’t even do anything at all and “leave it up to God” as they say . . . but isn’t it always up to Him anyway?

It’s hard to talk about what we did without framing it as a mistake.  Without saying “oops” or “we weren’t careful enough” or “we weren’t trying”.  We did what we did and we owned it, even though I knew with my highly predictable fertility it probably wasn’t peak time anyway. It’s hard to talk about it now that she came to visit without framing it as relief, or dodging something, or being safe, and not actually making a mistake.

But now that there was the possibility, and we grew to be okay with whatever the outcome this month, should we continue to delay? Well we chose our health plan based on no babies this calendar year, so I suppose we should probably stick with that for now 🙂

Oh, and Aunt Flo who came to visit?  We’re on speaking terms.  I’ve even forgiven her for all those other unwanted visits because the little boys that came when she finally took a vacation away from our house (thanks to a little surgery for the hubby) are pretty amazing people to have waited for.

*****

And a funny story:  So I ended up having to go to urgent care today (after writing the rest of this post), and thank goodness Brian was home after finishing up being in a jury.  I was doing my usual trick of using the knife to get the pit out of an avocado and the knife went straight through the pit and into my finger. Anyway the medical assistant asked if there was any possibility I was pregnant and I had to chuckle.  This was after I had to explain why I was still taking prenatal vitamins, and that my baby was 9 months old (he assumed newborn, because I was breastfeeding I guess?).

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